Yvonne’s Story

Oscar was so worried about going to court – He kept asking us whether Paul would be able to “get to him”. 

This guest blog is written by Yvonne*, whose grandson – just 5 at the time – had to face a horrific court experience after being abused by his dad.


“When my daughter Selina* first met her husband Paul* she was smitten. We were happy that she was so in love. Paul bought her flowers, took her out places and looked after her. He was always pleasant and well-mannered with us. Selina was really happy.

“When their son Oscar* was born Paul seemed to change. He seemed distant from Oscar and didn’t like spending time with him. His relationship with Selina had changed too; he had become very controlling and was angry a lot of the time, shouting at her and at Oscar. Paul’s temper would flare when Oscar couldn’t do things, even as a baby. Many times I heard Paul call Oscar ‘stupid’ or ‘a little brat’, he never seemed to have any patience with him. I would tell Paul not to shout but he wouldn’t listen. I noticed that Selina had become distant and withdrawn and not the young bubbly woman she once was. She had lost her confidence.

NSPCC Order in Court campaign“Oscar first told me his Daddy was hurting him when he was 2½ years old. I thought he meant that Paul had rough hands when he was dressing him or putting on lotion as I’d never seen him be physically violent with Oscar. It didn’t cross my mind that Paul was abusing him. It’s the last thing you think of.

“As Oscar grew older his behaviour changed. It felt like he was regressing back to being a baby, wanting to drink from a bottle instead of a cup and wetting and soiling himself where previously he’d been potty trained. Selina was also being told that Oscar was being aggressive at nursery, and had bruises that neither Oscar nor Selina could explain.

“As Paul became more and more aggressive, Selina realised she couldn’t put up with his behaviour anymore and moved in with us. Oscar seemed a lot happier living with us and away from his Dad and didn’t seem to miss him at all. His behaviour at nursery improved and he stopped wetting the bed. One day Oscar thanked me and when I asked why, he said “for making me safe”.

“A few months later Oscar told Selina what his Dad had been doing to him. He disclosed that Paul had been sexually abusing him. He was just four years old. My world crumbled.

“Over the next few weeks as we tried to come to terms with what Oscar had said, we reported the abuse to our doctor, and the Police and Children’s Services and Paul was arrested and charged with sexual activity with a child. Oscar had to go through medical examinations and doctors found medical evidence of sexual abuse he’d described. He continued to tell us in detail the things that Paul had done to him and we reported everything he said to the police. We had faith that everything we were telling them was going towards building a case against Paul so Oscar would be safe from him forever.

“It took over a year for the case to get to court. In that time we tried to keep things as normal as possible for Oscar. He had been assessed and examined and questioned by so many people that he was scared of strangers and we were worried about how he was going to cope in the court case. We were in contact with Victim Support and a volunteer came to the house with a book about the court room in child-friendly language and talked Oscar through what was going to happen on the day. They also made arrangements for us to visit the court room with Oscar so he could see the video room where he’d be giving evidence and the courthouse where people could watch him on the screen.

“The day we visited the court, Oscar was overwhelmed. We tried to make it fun for him, showing him his secret entrance that no one else could use and telling him he was going to be on TV. As we were given the tour we realised why he was so subdued, he was worried about being in the same building as his Dad.NSPCC Order in Court image

“After the visit Oscar was really agitated, he was suddenly worried about the court case and being so close to Paul. He kept asking us whether Paul would be able to “get to him” which was heart-breaking. He began to regress again and we felt like we were losing our little boy to the sexual abuse he’d been through.

“On the day of the trial we were so glad to have our separate court entrance so there was no chance of Oscar seeing Paul in the court house. The witness room we were given had lots of toys and video games for Oscar to play with yet I could tell he wasn’t happy. He was really unsettled and was worried again about Paul being so close. In the past, Paul had threatened Oscar to keep silent about the abuse by telling him that he’d take his Mum and grandparents away. Oscar was worried that with Paul being so close he could follow through with his threats.

“We were devastated to find out that the Victim Support volunteer who Oscar had met and come to trust wasn’t available to sit with him in the video conference room. Oscar was introduced to a stranger who he didn’t know or feel comfortable with and then taken to the video evidence suite to give his evidence. Oscar already felt unsafe and unsettled at the court and not having someone he knew with him seemed the last straw. To add to this, the court didn’t allow us to submit the medical evidence of the sexual abuse after Paul’s legal team successfully appealed against its inclusion. It meant a lot rested on Oscar’s evidence.

“Oscar was nervous and agitated going into the questioning. He was only 5 years old at the time of the trial and didn’t like being away from people he knew and being asked distressing questions about the abuse he’d been through. We’d never heard of Registered Intermediaries and so Oscar didn’t have any support understanding the questions, some of which were graphic questions about the abuse which upset him. Oscar’s evidence lasted less than 30 minutes because he felt unable to speak.

“After giving evidence Oscar returned to the witness room but wasn’t allowed to see his mum or spend any time with me. He became hysterical with worry that Paul had taken Selina away and he wouldn’t see her again. It was awful.

NSPCC Order in Court campaign visual“After 4 days in court, and jury deliberation there was not enough evidence to convict Paul of sexually abusing Oscar. It was a devastating blow.

“Since the trial Oscar has disclosed more information about the abuse and told us there is more that he remembers but he doesn’t like talking about it. He’s explicitly told us that he’s worried that if he tells us everything he remembers, he’ll be made to go back and see that “man in the wig again who scared and upset me”. He found the trial so distressing that he’s frozen from disclosing more of his awful memories.

“We’re still living with the effects of the abuse and the court case. Oscar lives in fear that Paul will get to him. We live behind locked gates, bolted doors and security cameras because that’s the only way Oscar feels safe. When we go into town to go shopping with Oscar we’re careful not to drive past the courtroom as it upsets Oscar and brings back the memories of the day.

“We feel like the court system failed us, failed Oscar and didn’t bring us justice. Had Oscar been able to give evidence from a remote site away from his abuser, with the support of someone he knew and trusted in the video evidencing room I know he would have felt strong and safe enough to tell the whole story of the horrific abuse he’d been through and Paul would be behind bars and safely away from other children.”

*Names and identifying details have been changed to protect individual’s identity.

Please take a moment to sign our e-petition so that children like Oscar don’t have to go to court to give their evidence. Thank you.

Why are Remote Sites so Important? – Victoria’s Story

The lack of remote sites in the UK means many young victims and witnesses still have to go to court to give evidence. This is a frightening and intimidating prospect – particularly given that they risk bumping into their abuser.

Victoria’s* daughter Iris* had to give evidence against her abuser Alex* at court due to a lack of remote sites:

“We were determined to ensure Iris didn’t have to see Alex, constantly being on our guard during the long hours waiting to give evidence. Alex and his supporters had been intimidating us since his arrest and we were all nervous about seeing him.

Despite our efforts, the lack of separate entrances meant that we saw Alex and his supporters outside the court when returning from getting Iris some lunch. Seeing Alex devastated Iris, she became much more nervous and stressed. She wasn’t in a fit state to give her best evidence.”

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Victoria is clear that being able to give her evidence from a remote site would have helped Iris, and prevented her being so traumatised by the process.

“Iris’ court experience felt like a second abuse. One of the worst parts is knowing there are things that could have improved Iris’ experience and avoided the trauma she experienced bringing her abuser to justice. If she had been able to give evidence from a remote location via a video link, she would not have seen Alex and been forced to relive the abuse and intimidation he subjected her to.”

Please support our e-petition, calling on the Government to ensure there is at least one remote site in each region so that more children can give evidence away from court.

*Names have been changed to protect identity

“The defence barrister had destroyed my daughter” – Guest Blog by Mum of Young Witness

The below guest blog is written by Victoria*, about her daughter’s experience of giving evidence.

When my daughter, Iris*, was 13, she seemed to change. She became withdrawn, spending an increasing amount of time in her bedroom. I put it down to teenage life and when I asked her about it she said nothing was wrong.

What I didn’t realise then was that she was too scared and confused to tell me the truth.

NSPCC Order in Court campaignI remember the day Iris told me that Alex* had been sexually abusing her. We’d know him and his wife for years; Iris looked on them like an auntie and uncle, their children like cousins. I tried to stay calm but my world instantly crumbled around me.

For Iris, disclosing the abuse was like a release. She felt safe that Alex wasn’t going to be able to touch her again. It felt like a step forward and, initially, the response was hugely positive.

We were assigned an amazing officer called Lucy* who supported Iris through all her police interviews. Iris was able to give her video evidence at a local Public Protection Unit – it wasn’t like a police station at all and, whilst the experience was far from pleasant, Iris wasn’t traumatised, and even felt well enough to go back to school after giving her evidence.

The process couldn’t have been made easier for us. I naively thought that a court case would be similar.

But worse was definitely still to come.

Alex was arrested and we were given a court date, scheduled for 9 months later. The year waiting was awful.

A few weeks before the trial we were given a tour of the court, shown the video evidence room and, critically, the two entrances to the court. This was so important to Iris – she couldn’t cope with seeing Alex before the trial.

The trial was due to start on the Monday. But the Friday before, we were told the court location had changed and Iris wouldn’t be able to visit it. She was distraught and the confidence she had felt about giving evidence drained away.

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We were determined to ensure Iris didn’t have to see Alex, constantly being on our guard during the long hours waiting to give evidence. Alex and his supporters had been intimidating us since his arrest and we were all nervous about seeing him.

Despite our efforts, the lack of separate entrances meant that we saw Alex and his supporters outside the court when returning from getting Iris some lunch. Seeing Alex devastated Iris, she became much more nervous and stressed. She wasn’t in a fit state to give her best evidence.

I was heartbroken leaving Iris to give her evidence.

I understood why I wasn’t allowed to go with her, but she needed someone there, a professional who knew her and could support her through questioning. Instead, all she had was a stranger.

Iris managed to hold it together through prosecution questions; they were clear and concise and the barrister was sensitive with her. However, the defence barrister couldn’t have been more different. I wasn’t allowed in the court but Iris’ grandmother had to watch as Iris broke down, torn apart by the barrister’s questions – questions she didn’t understand and which were wholly unsuitable for a 14 year old.

When Iris returned from giving evidence she was hysterical. I’d never seen a child in such distress – her eyes were swollen and raw from crying. She was shuddering with tears.

I felt like the defence barrister had destroyed her.

I wasn’t supposed to touch her or be with her as we were both witnesses but I knew I needed to calm her down. I was distraught – I felt powerless and unable to console her.

When Iris returned on the second day for more questioning, we had to consider the very real probability of stopping the trial as we felt that the defence barrister’s questioning was tantamount to abuse.

20141050_Young_Witness_Campaign_600x600_1_AWOur barrister decided that if Iris broke down one more time he would request that trial be stopped as what Iris was going through now was far too traumatic and Alex would walk free. It felt like the defence barrister was trying to upset Iris to the point that this would happen. Iris felt like she was on trial.

Eventually, Alex was convicted, put on the sex offenders register and given a suspended sentence.

We had got justice for Iris but at a great price.

Iris’ court experience felt like a second abuse. One of the worst parts is knowing there are things that could have improved Iris’ experience and avoided the trauma she experienced bringing her abuser to justice. If she had been able to give evidence from a remote location via a video link, she would not have seen Alex and been forced to relive the abuse and intimidation he subjected her to.

If the defence barrister had been more sensitive in his approach, Iris would not have faced the disgusting questioning she did. He asked questions that confused her and that she didn’t understand, she felt threatened and scared. It took her a long time to get over the horror of that questioning.

When we were contacted about the possibility of an Appeal by Alex and a retrial, I was adamant that I was not putting Iris through the trauma of another court case.

I would rather the man who abused my daughter walked free than subject her to what she experienced in that court room again.

No parent should ever have to feel that way; no child should experience what Iris did – especially when there are such simple measures that could have stopped her being traumatised a second time by the court process. Our justice system is meant to protect victims, not abuse them further and I hope that change is made with urgency so that no child, and no family has to experience what we did.

*Names have been changed to protect identity

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Changes for young people within the justice system are crucial

Since the campaign launched on Monday 9 June, we have been delighted to receive such a positive response from members of the public.  Your support is absolutely crucial in achieving these changes to the justice system.  Below are two quotes from children who have been through the justice system, that show why these changes are so important:

“I am feeling so nervous about giving evidence in court. They are making me explain exactly what happened but I’m not sure I can cope with things like that just yet. Sometimes I wish I had never said anything. It was horrible before but if I knew all this was going to happen then maybe I wouldn’t have said anything.” (ChildLine, Female, Unknown age)

NSPCC Order in Court campaign“For a child or young person to give evidence in court it is so difficult and I don’t think I understood before I did it how bad and hard it would be.  I just feel a lot needs to change to provide victims with the right support throughout it all.” (ChildLine, Female, Unknown age)

Please take action now by writing to your MP at nspcc.org.uk/orderincourt and signing up to our thunderclap. Thank you for your support.